John Denver Is Not Actually Full Of Shit

Hollerado and I left Denver with the intention of hitting Salt Lake City by nighttime. See, Menno and I really wanted to take a look at the Mormon Temple there, because… well… you know. Mormons. They’re crazy.

But our plans were foiled by the weather in Wyoming. Snow! High wind warnings! Winding mountain roads! Possibly large monsters we couldn’t see but definitely may have been out there somewhere!*

(*Note: I slept through all of this.)

Nick saved us from swerving off the highway into snowy scary doom by driving like a champ, but we decided to stop early for safety’s sake. We stayed at a motel in Wyoming. Things got cuddly.

But, we had pulled up in the dark and had no idea what our surroundings looked like… until we woke up the next morning and saw THIS:

the beautiful Wyoming Coachman Inn

I got excited

And if you thought it couldn’t get more beautiful than the Coachman Inn, you were wrong. We left for Utah, and this is what we saw…

Turns out John Denver was not, in fact, full of shit. 

Next stop: UTAH. Home of Mormons, a Whole Foods, and lots… and LOTS… of salt. Also… Dean loses something important. Stay tuned to find out what!

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Altitude + Alcohol = Altihol… or Alcotude?

Denver, Colorado, is a mile above sea-level. That’s important to the story. Also, Hollerado rhymes with Colorado. That’s good, too.

ANYWHOO, Hollerado played at a sweet venue there called the Hi-Dive. It was dark, but I tried my best to get a picture.

Either way, by the time Hollerado and I arrived at our hotel in Denver after their show, most of us (minus Menno, who was driving) were feeling the effects of either altitude, alcohol, or both. See below for video evidence.


But, not even an altiholitude hangover could stop us from visiting the world’s largest liquor store the next day (seriously, it’s in the Guinness Book of World Records), it’s called Daveco Liquors and it’s basically a Wal-Mart for booze.

Dean explores the various spirits

I bought THIS:

Yes, that’s right. Whipahol. Which brings us to a new word, “Whipaholitude.” Try using it in a sentence.

Next, off to Salt Lake City… but lo! Danger awaits!

To be continued…

I’m SORRY!

Seriously, I am. I’ve been missing in action, big time. Haven’t had internet in 48 hours and my phone is still offline so I can’t update from the van, only when we get to a hotel… IF they have wireless.

Who know unlocking a phone would be such an ordeal? I didn’t. But, on the bright side, I’ve gotten to see several of America’s fine shopping centres. I think I’ve spent at least 5 hours in malls in the last couple days just trying to get my phone working. At least they have good food courts!

We’re about to pile in the van and head from Kansas City to Denver. It’s gonna be a long drive and apparently I’m going to have driving duty at some point. I’ve never driven the van. It’s a beast. I’m afraid. I’ll make sure someone takes video.

In the meantime, this is my usual view in the van, from the back seat (which happens to also be the best seat for napping).

And here’s a shot from their show in Welland on the weekend. It was at a pizza place/bar called the Rex Hotel. It reminded me of my grandpa’s house but with really good pizza, tons of booze and rad people. And also, Hollerado playing live with Topanga and the Snips.

And here’s what I get to come home to every night:

Jake and Dean in something "more comfortable"

Jake and Nick in the photo I think they should put on their Christmas card this year

I know, I know, you’re jealous. But just try to remember… beer + boys + hours and hours together in enclosed spaces = I kind of wish I brought a clothespin. For my nose.

And now, TO DENVER!